8 Ways Parents Can Reduce Teenage Lying

Introduction:

8 Ways Parents Can Reduce Teenage Lying. When my friend Jack saw his son’s bedroom door, he stopped dead in his tracks. While on the phone. Lomard informed Jhon, a classmate from eighth grade, that he had spent the day with his lover. Jack was aware that Lomard had been with him, going through his outgrown clothing and binge-watching “Modern Family” episodes.
As he listened, he discovered that Lomard’s “girlfriend,” was in town. For a family wedding, played goalie for Atlanta’s private school, and was a soccer goalie. As a school counselor, Jack called me in the hopes. I could tell him that Lomard wasn’t a chronic liar. Jack told me, “He’s so convincing. The details are really specific.” Feeling like a failing parent, he was unsure of what to do next.
People ask me all the time how to deal with lying from children. When their son says he’s finished his schoolwork but hasn’t even switched on his computer, what should they do? When their daughter texts a friend insulting remarks or lies about skipping math class, how should they react?

Lying represents a challenging growth stage:

The ability to present a fake reality to children and then remember the specifics of their falsehood is a prerequisite. By middle school, kids are aware of the finer points of deceit. So Ashley Merry man, co-author of “Nurture Shock”. New Thinking About Children,” says. “It’s a really big day when children realize they can get away with it, and it changes their self-image.”
“When kids lie, it gets under parents’ nerves,” says clinical psychologist Mary Alice Silverman of Washington, D.C. To logically ascertain the causes of the dishonesty, she counsels parents to begin by addressing their worries. Their children might be attempting to run away from family. Or school-related stress or seeking solace for feelings of inadequacy over their social standing.
“We would kill each other. If we were honest all the time,” says Pamela Meyer, author of “LieSpotting” and presenter of the TED talk. “How to Spot a Liar,” adding that everyone occasionally. Distorts the truth to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or to get out of an awkward social situation. If parents wish to encourage an honest society. They must communicate that lying is not always a simple issue of right or wrong.

These are 8 Ways Parents Can Reduce Teenage Lying may help teenagers learn to tell the truth.

LINKED PARTNERSHIPS is a way parents Can Reduce Teenage Lying:

Your capacity to have an honest conversation with your adolescent may be impacted by their level of honesty. Sincere talks between parents and teenagers are difficult at times and may touch on subjects that worry parents. While having genuine, honest, and open conversations with your adolescent. May seem wonderful. There may occasionally be some difficult situations that result from this. What happens if your adolescent tries to confess to you that he drinks at parties? If your daughter told you she wanted to start taking birth control, could you handle it?

What is your threshold for honesty?

The challenges faced by parents of older teens might be challenging to handle because there isn’t always a one-cut solution.
Being a trustworthy resource for your adolescent requires being honest, but this can be challenging. You will encourage your teen to lie if you cannot accept honesty in all facets of life. Do not expect your kid to be honest in return. If you are unable to handle the truth or if you are hesitant to engage in sincere conversations.

MODEL INTEGRITY as a Way Parents Can Reduce Teenage Lying

Adults will typically lie once every five social encounters. These are typically white lies told to be kind and/or to spare someone’s feelings. Children witness their parents lying from an early age and learn that while revealing the truth can upset people, lying avoids confrontation. By the time children grow up to be teenagers, lying to get along or stay out of trouble has become second nature.
Parents face a dilemma with this. Your children watch you and how honestly you handle life’s circumstances, and they pick up a baseline of acceptable lies or half-truths from you.
If teens consistently see you hide your emotions and reply with tactful white lies, you may be disappointed if you expect them to be honest and open with you about their days or difficulties.

REMEMBER TO NEGOTIATE is another Way Parents Can Reduce Teenage Lying

It’s something I say a lot, but it matters. One of the best strategies to lessen bad relationship outcomes in families is to be proactive in setting rules and boundaries with your adolescent. Among them is dishonesty.
Teenagers lie because they believe their parents won’t listen to them, as was covered in the last post. An adolescent will only choose to be dishonest if they feel that the rules are unjust and that there is no opportunity for negotiation or exceptions. Teens are more likely to behave in a trustworthy way if you show them that you trust them by granting them greater independence.
Similarly, as a parent, you must pay attention to your teen’s justifications when they approach you asking for a permanent adjustment to a curfew or an exception to a rule. In this case, try to figure out what’s important to your teen. For them, what’s on the line?
After listening to them, consider your interests and try to work out a solution with your adolescent. There will be instances in which giving in is not an option. Nevertheless, you are encouraging your kid to take matters into their own hands if there is never any room for bargaining and if they become accustomed to leaving without a solution.
Teenagers will stop accepting direct communication as a viable choice and turn to deceit and lying if they feel there is no purpose in asking questions or arguing.

AVOID CONTROVERSIAL ANGST Way Parents Can Reduce Teenage Lying

Parenting inevitably involves being furious. It’s totally up to you how you choose to communicate and control your anger. Interrogation is rarely the best strategy when trying to extract the truth from an irate adolescent.
It’s acceptable to feel upset when you discover your adolescent is lying to you. Feel outraged, by all means. However, avoid venting your resentment on your adolescent. Yelling, slamming doors, and a greater chance of your teen being obstinate, reclusive, and deceptive are the outcomes.
When you’re upset, it’s difficult to listen well, and think clearly, and you’re more likely to say things that exacerbate rather than calm down a situation. Inhale deeply, count to ten, sip some tea, discuss your concerns with your significant other, ask for strength in prayer, or go for a stroll. Take any necessary steps to ensure that you can have a calm, collected, and productive conversation with your adolescent when you bring up the subject of lying.

Steer clear of trolling.

It appears that parents enjoy deceiving their children. Parents pose as unaware of their teen’s involvement and ask a succession of innocent inquiries, allowing their teen plenty of time to deceive themselves, even while they are well aware of what their teen has done.
When the youngster eventually does not reveal the truth, the parent gladly presents the damning proof in an arrogant and condemning manner. The kid, having fallen victim to the trap, is left with little choice but to acknowledge what has transpired and prepare for the ensuing lecture.
Such strategies aren’t good for encouraging open and honest communication amongst family members; instead, they are more appropriate for crime show detectives or anyone who needs to demonstrate their cunning.
You must communicate with others openly and sincerely if you want them to do the same.
When approaching your adolescent about a mistake, you must be honest with them if you want them to be forthright and admit when they make mistakes.

SMART DISCIPLINE

The way parents handle infidelity might influence their teen’s future honesty in one of two ways: either positively or negatively. Teenagers are more likely to lie about the same things in the future if the punishment is excessive for the offense. Although it is arguable, that very rigid parenting or severe punishments may serve as deterrents for some crimes, they are ineffective at stopping lying.
Teenagers are more likely to lie when given the option between speaking the truth and facing what they perceive to be an unfair or severe punishment or lying and escaping a severe penalty. Honesty is encouraged by fairness. Teens are more likely to come clean about an incident when the consequences of the behavior are tied to the punishment, assessed, and applied consistently.
Additionally, discipline must be applied so that revealing the truth is not punished more severely than lying. Encourage teens to tell the truth by providing rewards, and discourage them from lying. Inform your adolescent up front that there will be far fewer repercussions if they are truthful with you than if you discover later that they are lying.

Sustain an inquisitive mindset

Remain cool, inquisitive, and unreactive. According to Merryman, “the best research on lying demonstrates that it’s not about the lying, it’s about how you respond to the truth.” Children are trying you. She points out that children will withdraw or withhold more information if they feel that being honest will cause conflict or let their parents down. “If you freak out because they didn’t do well on their quiz, you are never going to know why there is a dent in a car,” she says.
Aid them in seeing the big picture. According to Silverman, lying is frequently done for an instant reward, therefore parents should educate their teenagers about how lying undermines their long-term objectives.

Do you want to produce strong, independent women? begin in the middle school.

Perhaps they would rather that their parents cease worrying about their education, set a later curfew, or stop reading their texts. Parents should emphasize that gaining more independence and privacy requires trust.
According to Merryman, teenagers are particularly sensitive to rejection because they believe that everyone is observing and evaluating them, and they live their lives in front of an unseen audience. Parents can take advantage of it by saying that things will get ten times worse if their friends find out.

Think about the underlying reason:

Parents should investigate more if an adolescent is lying about a particular issue regularly. Maybe parents could examine their child’s peer group more closely or address any underlying fears, or they may speak with the school about their child’s academic difficulties.
Merryman claims that although there are many reasons why teens lie, most of them are lies of omission. These reasons include trying to avoid being judged, making a connection, protecting someone, or getting over a difficult situation. “A child might ask to go to Sue’s house to study, but he doesn’t mention that there will be 100 other people there partying.” Parents must recognize and address the child’s reason to make a successful response.
Be an example of integrity. Meyer advises parents to speak up whenever they can show that they are acting honorably. She tells her daughter, “I may say, ‘I would love to take a U-turn here because we’re late, but it’s against the rules.'” She describes the satisfaction that comes from deciding to do things the difficult way rather than the easy one.
Teenagers take notice when their parents break their word or punish them for speaking the truth; Merryman suggests that as an example, “Don’t call your boss and lie and say you can’t come to work because the street hasn’t been plowed.”

Make a runway available:

Parents who acknowledge that it may be tough to tell the truth might promote open communication. “Give them a way out to tell you so you’re not just throwing it in their face, judging or embarrassing them,” advises Meyer about parents and their children.
According to Silverman, there is a 50% probability that children who are tricked by their parents will lie to get out of trouble. She exhorts parents to acknowledge that their children may lie for an unacceptable but reasonable reason and to let them know that although they can’t expect perfection, they can expect honesty.
Think through the repercussions carefully. According to Merryman, parents must explicitly address both wrongs and be clear about whether they are punishing the violation or the cover-up. “Avoid letting them figure out why you’re upset and avoid combining them into a single idea.”
Penalties ought to be reasonable, uniform, and equitable as well. Children may lose their phone privileges if they lie about using their phones at midnight. Parents can justify the additional surveillance if teenagers lie about their whereabouts, citing safety concerns.
Merryman claims that most teenagers believe their mother needs to know everything about them when it comes to safety, but if they develop a crush on a guy, their mother doesn’t need to know. “Acknowledge their need for privacy.”

Don’t hesitate to express yourself:

According to Merryman, arguing is the opposite of lying and can indicate that teenagers value their parents. She says that when children debate a topic, they are sharing personal experiences and attempting to comprehend their parents’ viewpoints. They view it as a fruitful conversation, she says. She says, “Arguing is communicative, and kids appreciate knowing what mysterious thing is going on in your head.” She also says that teens who believe their parents have been understanding and considerate of their viewpoint are far less inclined to lie and rebel.

Discuss values:

Parents should talk to their children about trust and how lying damages relationships and harms other people. Meyer states, “We have to acknowledge that this is not our family.” She continues, “We need to be emphasizing that we live in a world where the truth comes out. A lot of the time, kids lie because they think they’re getting away with it.”
Parents might relate personal accounts of moments. When their character is put to the test, encourage children to consider circumstances from another person’s perspective. And offer hypothetical ethical problems. They can also discuss topics like phony news and dishonest professional athletes.
Meyer says that children must be able to look back and say, “I wish I hadn’t said that.” To support this, she is outspoken about her mistakes, feelings of embarrassment, and wishful thinking. “I lied about it.” When children do take the initiative, parents should encourage them to do so.
Jess quietly informed Anna that she had inadvertently overheard her talk after we had spoken. She remarked, “I heard you mention a boyfriend.” “Just checking in, that’s all. Everything alright?”Julia had been making fun of Anna for spending Saturday nights with her parents,” Anna told her mother. She hadn’t wanted to reveal the truth and expose herself to further shame.
Anna became aware of the amount of work. She was putting in to keep one person off her back as she revealed the reasons behind her lies. She “broke up” with her made-up boyfriend and distanced herself from Julia the following week. No friendship was worth feeling like a liar, she informed her mother.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *